Grim Outlook

I have good news for those of you in Southern California cursing me for having ample amounts of fun and generally all-around good times in Europe while you’re slaving away in Los Angeles. I have a rocky road ahead of me, and it doesn’t appear, from this angle, to be as painfully delicious as the ice cream of the same cliché.

It’s about that time of year again, that glorious time when each of us students talks to our college advisor to set up classes for next semester. I took an interest today in my academic situation at USC, and the outlook is grim, for multiple reasons. First of all, I started out as an architecture student, meaning I took a couple-three extremely painful classes during my first four months at USC which are now useless to me, except as catalysts for severe long-term psychological damage. Secondly, last semester I freaked out and dropped a course I probably could have and should have handled, considering my plans of studying broads in London this semester. And lastly, this semester has been less than productive, as far as transferring school credits goes. At the end of this semester (assuming I pass all my classes, of course), I will have completed a measly 21 meaningful credits during my entire sophomore year.

In order to make up the credits, I will need to take at least one course in the summer and take a full load of 18 high-level engineering courses during each remaining semester at USC. Ugh.

I have brainstormed some solutions though. I believe I’ll spend summer 2010 in Los Angeles taking a full load, possibly picking up a minor in Physics, Astronomy, Biology, Creative Writing, Politics, or Musical Performance. You know, something along that vein; said vein being “whatever strikes my fancy,” or, just as validly, “close your eyes and choose a subject out of a hat.” This summer semester would fix my overload problem, but it would limit my opportunities during that summer, which is the summer I’m most likely to land a cool internship. But who knows, maybe I could get something during the school year, part-time. Psh, ya, I could probably handle, like, two or three part-time internships.

Those are parts one and two of the grand plan, henceforth to be referred to as “The New Bailout Plan: Third time’s the charm.” I need to do a summer semester and pick up a minor. Part three consists of my earning a cool master’s degree (everybody’s doing it) in USC’s progressive degree program. I can complete that bad boy in one blazing, action-packed year. I should also be a residential advisor, or an RA, during this year, because I’m pretty sure my parents will be living in a box down by Fred Meyer by this time. RA’s get free room and board, and they get to hang out with freshmen in a dorm! Sounds like a win-win! Don’t worry Mom and Dad, the PhD will only take a few more years after the Master’s, and then, after I travel the world for a few more years after that, I’ll be financially independent.